Friday, February 27, 2004

DIS IS DA CRUSHER SPEAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think about pro-wrestling alot, and you should too, but I never expected it to infiltrate the collective unconscious like it has just recently - look, TWO articles about the squared circle in two major American newspapers (well, one major American newspaper and the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel) in the last 24 hours (although, seeing as this is a blog, I suppose I gotta blame this on on the latest nefarious twist in the Liberal Media's plan to...do...something or other...I'll ask Andrew Sullivan and get back to you...)!!!!! First one's from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, and its about DA CRUSHER!!!!!!!!!!! AWA fans in the house will doubtless be experiencing respiratory failure at this point, as the Crusher was one of that promotion's true shining stars, an old fart who was 100% Rust Belt (see, most 'rasslers from the same era who fans get nostalgic about - Terry Gordy, say, or Dick Murdoch - were as Redneck as Wise Blood). This man once, during a promotional interview, referred to himself as "the polka king." Fuck with THAT. Anyway, he's doing well and his grandson is apparently an up-and-comer in the amateur wrestling scene. Yeah, I know - call me when he turns pro and tags with gramps and I'll get excited. Still, this made the front page above the fold during a particularly eventful news week, so I'm very glad to see that the Journal-Sentinel's got its journalistic priorities straight.
This article from the NYT is interesting for other reasons. I'm not sure what kind of cultural threshold we've crossed when the New York friggin' Times admits that pro wrestlers bring a fair amount of athleticism, skill and charisma to their trade (as opposed to ONLY pure hucksterism, although there's plenty of that as well), but I think - I think - its a step in the right direction. Even so: the writer seems to imply that farming future stars-of-the-mat from the ranks of failed footballers and bored refugees of the college wrestling scene is a new practice. I can name maybe 50 pro wrestlers off the top of my head - from the golden age of television to the present day - who came from this sort of background. How 'bout five? First five I can think of: Steve Williams played football for Oklahoma. Scott Steiner was some wrestling hotshot from Michigan State (or maybe just Michigan). Lex Lugar was on the Packers' special team. Bill Goldberg played for the Falcons. Ron Simmons was some kind of SERIOUS hotshit football star at FSU or somewhere - my brother, who knows about this sort of thing, tells me that he's either won a bunch of prestigious college football awards or holds some kind of unshatterable record or something. Big Van Vader played for the Rams. All of these guys - 'cept for Goldberg - first hit the scene in the 1980s. And I don't know shit about sports - the only reason I even KNOW there's a team called the Falcons is that Bill Goldberg played for 'em!!
In a shocking coincidence, I'm listening to Husker Du at the moment; Bob Mould is a huge wrestling fan, and even worked for WCW in the last years (of WCW, not of Bob Mould). I've got to be one of the only people who, if I ever met 'im, would rather pump him for wrestling stories than punk rock stories. I've actually got a copy of an old wrestling fanzine which he contributed some writing to; if I ever figure out how to scan things onto this page I'll post some of it.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

Hey from me too. What's up kids?
What's the deal with this new Degree commercial? You know, the one with the dude who gets all kung-fu and shit yet doesn't break a sweat. The music's weird. Some sort of speed-Canto-pop-rap.

I'm also really appreciating the new boner drug ads: Cialis and Levitra. Dan didn't know what Levitra was for until I told him. And I guess if you weren't reading "Levitate, weiner!" into the title, then you might not really understand hat it was for based on the commercials. Mike Ditka just says "Get back in the game!! Ask your doctor about Levitra, like I did!" It's all sports & sex innuendo, but never anything explicit. Cialis, on the other hand, tells it like it is. "Erections lasting longer than four hours require immediate medical attention." Ow. And Viagra? haven't seen one of their ads for awhile, I guess they're getting enough business based out of all that e-mail spam. I just hope they aren't overwhelmed by the no-name competitors that bombard my Inbox with messages telling me how you can "AMPLIFY YOUR COCK!!" Anyone who's done this should let us know how it turned out I guess.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I watched the finale of the Bachelorette this evening, and was pleased with Meredith's choice. Matthew looked and sounded kind of like a buff young George W. And I guess I identified with Ian's hesitations to parade his whole family & life for all to see on reality tv. And his awkwardness and shyness in general. But it was good to see two people get together who ultimately looked really happy in the end. Plus, Meredith's seriously the only cool person the Bachelor/ette series has ever concentrated on. I keep hoping the next Bachelor will be at least slight nerdy, intellectual, or maybe even a little rock n' roll. But ABC prefers to pick sports lovin' Ken dolls instead. Plastic crotch and all!

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Hi, all.

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